This is my space to scream

I don’t like being dramatic and I am not dramatic person.
But tonight I wish I was cus that well let me cry easy.
My heart was crushed twice
I survived from depression first time and I will survive This time insha Allah
but I wanna know if there is easier way to survive cus…….. its Hurts badly
I hate my personality which is so pretended that everything is ok all the time
I wanna cry
I wanna scream
I wanna pull all that pain from my chest and through it a way
But I couldn’t
I couldn’t feel sad
I feel angry and that’s worse
Its worse than sad cus I know how long it takes to pass.