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Nicole Kidman would ‘much rather have a family’ than all the awards & accolades

Nicole on her life in Nashville with Keith & their kids: “We watch America’s Funniest Home Videos and reruns of The Brady Bunch, that’s very much our life.”

Her emotions were intense as a child: “I loved getting lost in characters and a lot of that was to do with not being comfortable with who I was, so [I created] a fantasy life. I had intense feelings as a child; I used to cry when my mother would go and play bridge. I’d be crying in bed, waiting for her to come home. My depth of emotion was powerful.”

On bad reviews: “When [reactions are] amazing I’m up front and center; when they’re bad I’m up front and center. I like to push it, test how far I can go with things. Not for the sake of just being provocative, but for the sake of not conforming and saying, ‘There’s not necessarily a right and a wrong here, there’s a gray.’ Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but I say to myself, ‘Okay, just keep trying stuff.’”

She’s tired of actors famous for being famous: “The way in which actors are defined is so different now. So much of it is by their clothes and how they look and all of the celebrity that surrounds that, whereas it used to be you went to drama school and you were trained as an actor.”

How she decides what projects to do: “Ultimately I ask Keith, ‘Is this a possibility to do?’ It may sound old-fashioned, but I want the family to work. And I feel pain when I’m away; I literally feel a yearning and a pain…I’m on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer and my husband says to me, ‘You’ve become more Cancer – you’re all about the family now.’”

Work/family decisions: “For actresses, if you’re in a relationship, there’s an enormous amount of give and take, particularly when you get pregnant. They say your art gets affected when you have a family, but I’d much rather have a family. Having experienced the greatest awards and accolades, the idea of being alone with that doesn’t work for me. It may for some**** else, but it’s not for me.”

Late in life love: “Keith always says, ‘We’re lucky we met late in life. The sadness of that is we can’t have six kids together, but the greatness of that is [we are done] with all the other stuff, so now we are totally present for this.’ That’s a great thing to hear from a man,” says Kidman. At his concert on their wedding anniversary in Australia earlier this year, Urban dedicated a song to his wife with the words, ‘Eight years, baby girl. This song is for you. I love you so much.’ Even her friends, she says, were jealous of that one. “I had two girlfriends sitting with me and they were like, ‘Bitch!’” Kidman laughs. “I went, ‘Hey! I’ve been to hell and back!’”

The hell of being married to Tom Cruise? “Now I have the ability to go, ‘Okay, this too shall pass.’ Sometimes you’ve just got to navigate through pain and depression. Maybe you have a down day, but life is contrast. I’d rather feel it and know it.”

On giving birth: “Giving birth is just whoa! What I remember the most is the cry. When the baby is born the cry penetrates on such a deep level and Keith says that too. He goes, ‘what about that cry!’ And we actually did record our birth. So we’ve heard it back. And every time it jolts me back into the moment.”