Charlize Theron loves cocaine. Bradley Cooper is bi. Jay-Z and Beyonce have an open relationship (and likely high-five each other after each extra-marital casual tryst). These are just a few of the “scintillating” tidbits Lainey Gossip shared with a gaggle of girls at last night’s SMUT Soiree.
The annual coming together of the celebrity-obsessed, Lainey’s affair saw eTalk and The Social-loving ladies donning their best attempts at summertime glam (read: polyester and faux silk) to revel in the scoops supposedly privy to Ms. Lainey’s world. Attendees neared white-girl-wasted thanks to open bars by Grey Goose and Perroni. One-too-many hot dogs were devoured unceremoniously as the ladies turned into true product whores, lining up for near an hour to snatch sample-sized swag. We even spied a couple gals trying to make use of the urinals in the men’s room. You can take the girl out of Brampton but you can’t take the Brampton out of the girl…
Shortly after 8pm, Lainey’s spotlight shone as the room’s energy seized up in anticipation of the hot gossip the “celebrity insider” would certainly share. Ever the crass ******, Ms. Gossip… er… Lui dropped f-bombs with a frequency usually reserved for sailors and inmates as she sipped on cocktails and stuffed her gullet with two-bite dogs.
The audience lined up with fervour, anxious to inquire about the love lives (Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon won’t last forever, but they’ll give it the ol’ college try), dispositions (apparently Julia Roberts is synonymous with total bitch), and fame-mongering (the Kim + Kanye train is powered by Instagram likes) of the rich and famous. Seated on the edge of folding chairs, the women giggled, shouted, and applauded with gusto as every word from Lainey’s mouth was absorbed like testaments from a prophet. This couldn’t just be gossip they were hearing – it had to be fact! (You know… just “fact” sans any reliable sources, evidence, ********s, or photos to support the claims.)
The SMUT Soiree couldn’t have a more apropos moniker. It’s one-part dish-and-delight, one-part stuff-your-face, and one-part societal-degradation. All this in the name of some juicy tabloid tales… #winning.
https://viewthevibe.com/smut-soiree-2014-lainey-gossip/
