Samuel L. Jackson scolds reporter who mistakes him for Laurence Fishburne

Samuel L. Jackson scolds reporter who mistakes him for Laurence Fishburne

Oh, L.A. locals news, where the lady anchors are always done up like they’re on their way to Happy Hour at Charley Brown’s Steakhouse (LOCAL REFERENCE *****!) and where the “entertainment reporters” think all black dude movie stars look alike.
Sam Rubin has been on KTLA in L.A. since the pile of weed-infused oatmeal in my head can remember and maybe it’s because I only get my entertainment news fromGeorge PEENnacchio (LOCAL REFERENCE *****, part II!), but I don’t remember him being this embarrassing. But this morning, Sam gave every viewer a severe case of second-hand embarrassment when he mistook the national treasure in a Kangol hat that is Samuel L. Jackson for Montana Fishburne’s daddy. Samuel L. Jackson was on KTLA via satellite to whore out Robocop and during the interview Sam Rubin asked him about his Super Bowl commercial. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t do a Super Bowl commercial, but Laurence Fishburne did one for Kia. The switch in Samuel L. Jackson’s brain flipped to NOT THE ONE and he verbally slapped Sam Rubin down. When Sam Rubin tried to get back up and dust himself off, Samuel L. Jackson kept verbally slapping that bitch down. Call him Laurence Fishburne one more time, Sam!
As Sam’s co-anchors laughed at his ass, Samuel grabbed his hair and dragged that ho:

“You’re as crazy as the people on Twitter. I am not Laurence Fishburne! We don’t all look alike! We may all be black and famous, but we don’t all look alike. You’re the entertainment reporter for this station and you don’t know the difference between me and Laurence Fishburne? There must be a very short line for your job. Oh, HELL NO. Really? Really? I’m the other guy. The other one. What’s in your wallet?”

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t even have to reach through the screen and slap Sam Rubin because Sam Rubin slapped Sam Rubin for him.
After Sam finished dipping his **** in a tub full of First Degree burn cream, he went back on air and apologized to Samuel L. Jackson and also spit out a corroded dingle from a bull’s butt when he said that he wasn’t referring to Laurence Fishburne’s commercial for Kia, he was referring to the trailer for Captain America 2 that played during the Super Bowl.

Dlisted | What Happens When You Mistake Samuel L. Jackson For Laurence Fishburne

Laurence Gonzales – Deep Survival Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why

Laurence GonzalesDeep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why
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Laurence GonzalesDeep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why
**** Product: Laurence GonzalesDeep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why
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Author: Laurence Gonzales
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"Unique among Survival books…stunning…enthralling. Deep Survival makes compelling, and chilling, reading."-Penelope Purdy, Denver Post
After her plane crashes, a seventeen-year-old girl spends eleven days walking through the Peruvian jungle. Against all odds, with no food, ****ter, or equipment, she gets out. A better-equipped group of adult survivors of the same crash sits down and dies. What makes the difference?

Examining such stories of miraculous endurance and tragic death-how people get into trouble and how they get out again (or not)-Deep Survival takes us from the tops of snowy mountains and the depths of oceans to the workings of the brain that control our behavior. Through close analysis of case studies, Laurence Gonzales describes the "stages of survival" and reveals the essence of a survivor-truths that apply not only to surviving in the wild but also to surviving life-threatening illness, relationships, the death of a loved one, running a business during uncertain times, even war.

Fascinating for any reader, and absolutely essential for anyone who takes a hike in the woods, this book will change the way we understand ourselves and the great outdoors.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When confronted with a life-threatening situation, 90% of people freeze or panic, says Gonzales in this exploration of what makes the remaining 10% stay cool, focused and alive. Gonzales (The Hero’s Apprentice; The Still Point), who has covered Survival stories for National Geographic Explorer, Outside and Men’s Journal, uncovers the biological and psychological reasons people risk their Lives and why some are better at it than others. In the first part of the book, the author talks to dozens of thrill-seekers-mountain climbers, sailors, jet pilots-and they all say the same thing: danger is a great rush. "Fear can be fun," Gonzales writes. "It can make you feel more alive, because it is an integral part of saving your own life." Pinpointing why and how those 10% survive is another story. "They are the ones who can perceive their situation clearly; they can plan and take correct action," Gonzales explains. Survivors, whether they’re jet pilots landing on the deck of an aircraft carrier or boatbuilders adrift on a raft in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, share certain traits: training, experience, stoicism and a capacity for their logical neocortex (the brain’s thinking part) to override the primitive amygdala portion of their brains. Although there’s no surefire way to become a survivor, Gonzales does share some rules for adventure gleaned from the survivors themselves: stay calm, be decisive and don’t give up. Remembering these rules when crisis strikes may be tough, but Gonzales’s vivid de******ions of life in the balance will stay with readers.
Copyright 2024 Reed Business Information, Inc. -This **** refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

What impels people to risk their Lives by climbing mountains or deep-sea diving? What confluence of forces leads to drastic accidents? Why do some people survive disasters while others perish? A renowned journalist intrigued with risk, Gonzales conducts an in-depth and engrossing inquiry into the dynamics of survival. Relating one hair-raising true story after another about wilderness adventures gone catastrophically wrong and other calamities, Gonzales draws on sources as diverse and compelling as the Stoic philosophers and neuroscience to elucidate the psychological, physiological, and spiritual strengths that enable certain individuals to avoid fatal panic and make that crucial "transition from victim to survivor." People who survive being lost or adrift at sea, for instance, pay close attention to their surroundings and respect the wild. Gonzales also notes that survivors think of others, either helping a fellow sufferer or rallying to outsmart death in order to spare loved ones anguish. The study of Survival offers an illuminating portal into the human psyche, and Gonzales, knowledgeable and passionate, is a compelling and trustworthy guide. Donna Seaman
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved -This **** refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Gonzales’s writing is effortless and compelling, and his research is first-rate. I can’t imagine a better book on the topic." (Sebastian Junger, autbor of The Perfect Storm)

"A fascinating look into why we are who we are." (Bill McKibben, author of The End of Nature and Enough)

"A feast of excitement and wonder. Makes complexity and chaos come alive…fantastic accounts of danger and death." (Charles Perrow, author of Normal Accidents)

"A superb, entertaining addition to a nature buff’s library-or for anyone not tucked safely away in a bunker." (Kirkus Reviews)

"Great stories of disaster and Survival where one irresistibly wonders, ‘How would I do in this circumstance?’ combined with revealing science about the physiology and psychology of how we deal with crisis. [Gonzales’s] science is accurate, accessible, up-to-date and insightful. An extremely good book." (Robert Sapolsky, author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers)

"Laurence Gonzales has masterfully woven together personal Survival stories with the study of human perception to reach rock-bottom truths about how to live with risk." (Peter Stark, author of Last Breath: The Limits of Adventure)

"Deep Survival provides a new lens for looking at survival, risk taking, and life itself. Gonzales takes the reader on a rollercoaster ride that ends with rules of Survival we can all stand to learn. Equally important, he answers the question: what is the value of taking risks. I love this book." (Jed Williamson, editor, Accidents in North American Mountaineering)

"Remarkable, unique, and compulsively readable, Deep Survival is three books in one: a compendium of vivid tales of disasters and near misses in the wilderness; a probing analysis of what the latest neuroscience and psychology can tell us about ‘who Lives and who dies’; and, finally, a moving memoir about Gonzales’s father, whose own miraculous Survival after a plane crash behind German lines in World War II launched the author on his lifelong quest into the mystery of risk and adventure." (David Roberts, author of True Summit: What Really Happened on the Legendary Ascent on Annapurna)

"Professional rescuers will love this book. It goes to the heart of the instincts that drive us to risk our own Lives to save others. Gonzales tells us what we subconsciously know-anything is possible." (Jacki Golike, Executive Director, National Association for Search and Rescue)

"Deep Survival is by far the best book on the many insights into epic Survival stories I have ever read." (Daryl Miller, Chief of Mountaineering, Denali National Park & Preserve)

"A gripping and thoughtful investigation of the greatest adventure of all-survival. Through riveting tales of disaster and endurance, Gonzales explores the icy mental clarity that characterizes survivors." (Jerry Kobalenko, author of The Horizontal Everest: Extreme Journeys on Ellesmere Island)

"Should be required reading for anyone venturing off the beaten path." (Jeff Randall, Peruvian Air Force School of Jungle Survival)

About the Author

Laurence Gonzales is the author of the bestseller Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why. He has won two National Magazine awards and the Distinguished Service Award from the Society of Professional Journalists. He Lives in Evanston, Illinois.

From AudioFile

Laurence Gonzales’s father, a WWII pilot, was the only one to escape a wartime crash. A 17-year-old girl was the sole survivor of a Peruvian plane crash. What makes one person a victim and another a survivor? Gonzales suggests that in life-and-death situations, unconventional thought patterns and managing fear through dark humor, play, and laughter help ensure Survival by tempering negative emotions. Stefan Rudnicki’s reading makes these harrowing anecdotes unfold like fiction. By underplaying the gruesome moments, Rudnicki highlights Gonzales’s excellent research on the neurological, physiological, and psychological strengths needed when people find their Lives threatened. This is an exciting listen, filled with amazing stories and helpful tips for everyone. S.J.H. © AudioFile 2024, Portland, Maine- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine -This **** refers to the Audio CD edition.
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https://rapidgator.net/file/169de7f741122bd11b7aac130e109458/Laurence.Gonzales.part1.rar https://rapidgator.net/file/2d2f0756b55485c70018cb66008de123/Laurence.Gonzales.part2.rar