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In November of 1990 a computer nerd friend wanted to have a Thanksgiving dinner for other computer people he had worked with. His wife did not like or use computers at that time so she invited me to keep her company with all of those guys coming over with their various girlfriends, wives etc. I was un happily engaged at the time to a mama boy from a very dysfunctional family. He had his own plans so I made mine. I made several loaves of sourdough bread to take to the dinner and, not feeling very charitable towards men that day, I said to one bragging about his gorgeous sliced potato dish."Aw, did you make that all by yourself?"
Mark said it made him so mad that all the way home he pounded the steering wheel and said to himself, "I show that bitch! We have a **** off someday!"
Little did I know he had wanted to be a Cordon bleu chef but had been advised by a chef to keep ****ing as a hobby so he would not ruin it for himself and that is what he did.
The next month was the Christmas party and we met again. I had broken off my engagement with mama boy but was certainly not looking for a relationship. We talked some during the night about his daughter dollhouse and I [عزيزي الزائر يتوجب عليك التسجيل لمشاهدة الرابط للتسجيل اضغط هنا] mentioned that I had some coasters that would make great little Indian print rugs to put in it. I could clip them to my mailbox and he could come after them anytime he wanted; I would not have to be home. I gave him my number so I would know when to put them outside.
After the holidays I received a phone call from Mark, just wanting to talk. He said he did not want a relationship and I didn either at that time so we decided to be friends, maybe go to movies or out to dinner occasionally. Hours later we had established the fact that we each had a ****book collection, loved to go camping, enjoyed cats and dogs and between us we had 12.
To make a short story long, that was 23 years ago. We discovered we each had over 100 ****books, with no duplicates at all!
Mark and I dated for 8 years, then married on April Fools Day Eve; we were married for 14 and a half years when he died 10 days ago after 6 years of battling bladder cancer. I am certainly not immune to this phenomenon, especially when I had a daily commute of 25 minutes on the jam packed N Judah line (nope, no**** here but me and my iPhone) followed by 45 minutes on Caltrain (nope, no**** here but me and coffee). It an urban survival skill, the ability to [عزيزي الزائر يتوجب عليك التسجيل لمشاهدة الرابط للتسجيل اضغط هنا] ignore hundreds of people in your personal space.
For over a year I been making that commute in that world, the world where literally every single day I sat alone on the train, with my bubble engaged and a defensive glare at the ready in case anyone dared to sit next to me. I had a ritual, too; in most train cars, there are only a handful of seats with cupholders. Being the coffee addict that I am, I always sought out one of those seats to stake my claim.
This is exactly what I was doing, bubble up, coffee in hand, on the day I bumped into a tall, handsome blonde man walking the wrong way down the aisle of the train car. My eyes went to his, then to the venti Starbucks latte in his hand, then to the empty cupholder seat that was next to us. Oh hell no, I thought to myself, and gave him a chilly smile before sliding into the seat [عزيزي الزائر يتوجب عليك التسجيل لمشاهدة الرابط للتسجيل اضغط هنا] and claiming the cupholder.
He hesitated, looked at the cupholder, then at me, then moved on with a defeated look on his face. I beamed, triumphant. But something nagged at me. I had seen the covetous glance at my cupholder. I was suddenly 100% sure that he was going to come back. And then I would have to spend the entire commute sitting next to someone. How utterly annoying.
Of course, he did come back, and he politely asked if he could share the cupholder. "Sure," I grunted, giving him the briefest possible moment of eye contact. Blue eyes. How annoying. He sat down. Just please don try to talk to me, I thought. Let me have my coffee and stare at my phone and I just pretend you not there.
The train [عزيزي الزائر يتوجب عليك التسجيل لمشاهدة الرابط للتسجيل اضغط هنا] started moving. I sat there seething at my lack of personal space while he pulled out a MacBook. Mentally, I rolled my eyes. He an iPhone developer, I thought. I just know he is. He opened the computer and I glanced over to see Xcode ********ation. Of course. Now I can even get work done because he see I also an iPhone developer and want to talk to me. How annoying.
I thumbed irritably through email on my phone until I saw something from work I needed to address. Resigned, I pulled out my computer and tethered to my phone. I tapped away for a few minutes before it happened. "What are you using to get online?" he asked.
Internally, I winced. The bubble had been penetrated. I begrudgingly allowed myself to be pulled into a conversation about various personal WiFi options. He made a joke; I laughed. He turned out to be charming. I had forgotten what it was like for a stranger on the train to be warm. By the time we got to my stop, we had managed to exchange Twitter names (oh, the modern age). And for the rest of the day I couldn get that annoying, tall, blonde man out of my head.
He really does have very nice blue eyes, and so does our son.
All because of a cupholder.
I had just broken up with my ex of 8 years a couple of months back. The last thing I wanted to do was start up anything new.
A friend of mine told me I should set up a profile on the OKCupid site. Not really interested, I said, not even looking for someone. Alright, she said, but you would find the algorithm they use to match people up interesting.
(Yes, I am a geek. She talked me into signing up for a damned dating site to see its algorithms. She did admit later that she thought I needed to get back at it, and used that for a reason. I had figured that out by that point. She has always been a good friend to have.)
So, I signed up, and did the profile, and tried answering some of the questions. What going to happen, I wondered? The first results were not too encouraging. Some people pinged me, but they were certainly not anyone I be interested in. I have a hard time tolerating stupid people, and an impossible time tolerating fake or insincere people. Most were both. I certainly had no interest in communicating back with them.
Answered a few more of the questions. Alright, alright, says you have to do this many for it to work. Alright. There. I signed up for the site, and it seems its algorithm sucks. Happy now?
I got in another message. Well. No BS, just says "I wanted to tell you that you have gorgeous eyes and a wonderful smile." Well, I take a look. Alright. No BS or fakery in the profile, either. Loves to read, and also write. And lives across the entire state, at that. Suppose that safe enough.
I sent back a ping saying thanks, and that [عزيزي الزائر يتوجب عليك التسجيل لمشاهدة الرابط للتسجيل اضغط هنا] I would have to say the same in return. Hell of a line, right? We talked a little more, about books, various things. Alright, she seems okay. I suppose I might want to talk to her in the future. We exchanged our own IMs so as not to have to use the crappy messaging system on the site, and went on that way.
I found out that she was 20. Ah, alright, there we go. I talk about my kids, and that will scare her right off.
Oh, she thinks they sound wonderful. She wants to see a photo. She thinks they really cute.
What going on here?
We went on to the work she had done with kids while in school. Talked about that, what she wanted to do. Talked about programming and science. If the kids didn do it, that will. I can frighten anyone off geeking out.
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