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The Kirk Cameron/Crocoduck Erotic Novel You’ve Been Waiting For is Finally Here

The Kirk Cameron/Crocoduck Erotic Novel You’ve Been Waiting For is Finally Here

July 7,2020 by Hemant Mehta

It’s Been more than eight years since Kirk Cameron first introduced us to the Crocoduck, the crocodile/duck hybrid that he believes ought to exist if evolution is true.
And Finally — finally! — there’s an Erotic Novel bringing the two together:

So what is Mandy De Sandra‘s Kirk Cameron & The Crocoduck of Chaos Magick all about?

Kirk Cameron has set up his Pray The Gay Away Camp. He is hoping for it to be a hit Reality TV Show. While most boys are open to letting go of their homosexual ways, JJ a young gay man who practices Chaos Magick has other plans. When JJ finishes his spell and unleashes hot Cheese Jesus, a crockoduck, and Boner Stabone, Kirk Cameron will feel passion and some sexy Growing Pains.
A 7,500 word novellete of hot gay orgy action, involving crockoducks, sexy holy cheese, Chaos Magick, oral sex, anal, clone 69ing, and Stigmata hand sex.

I know. My **** also began tingling at sexy holy cheese.
So I had to buy it.
Let me give you a taste of what you’re in for:

Kirk Cameron’s mouth dropped and he fell to the knees. The Crocoduck he used to refute evolution was now in the room crocowaddling toward him.
It looked at Kirk and its wings flapped with glee. The green-scaled skin glistened while his feathers looked regal. Its 12-inch jaw of teeth showed a long smile of lust — its Crocoduck cock was the same length.
The Crocoduck darted toward the kneeling and shocked open-mouthed Kirk Cameron. Kirk didn’t close his mouth in time and took nine inches of the Crocoduck. It squealed with delight while flapping his wings. The Boners followed the Crocoduck’s lead but went into the 69 position. They sucked one another, mirroring each other, looking like a funhouse of fellatio.

You’re welcome, America.
(Also, someone please add “crocowaddling” to Urban Dictionary.)

The Kirk Cameron/Crocoduck Erotic Novel Youâ€™ve Been Waiting For is Finally Here

Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron’s New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back

Let me tell you guys my idea of a perfect Christmas. You wake up like it’s any other day—it might not feel like December 25, it might even feel like, say, August 27—you go to work, you eat your sandwich, you shoulder life’s banality with the resignation of a much older woman, and then…someone sends you a link. You click. Oh my god. My god. Kirk CAMERON IS DOING AND SAYING STUFF AGAIN!!!!! IT REALLY IS THE Baby JESUS’S BIRTHDAY!

Specifically, Kirk Cameron is making a Movie called Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, in which Kirk Cameron goes around just fucking saving Christmas nonstop. Saving it from what, you might ask? Well, let’s hear from Kirk Cameron himself!

Via Laura Turner:

The opening line of the trailer for the film asks if you, the potential viewer, ever feel like Christmas is being hijacked by commercialism, or by people who want to "replace ‘Merry Christmas’ with ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Season’s Greetings’–whatever that means." That is a really good point. Who knows what "Happy Holidays" even means??

…Cameron went on in his interview with The Blaze: "It’s obvious that there is a deliberate attempt to snuff out the holy root that has produced all this wonderful Christmas-time fruit. I think it’s about time someone spoke out and made a Movie about this…Christianity…is the ideology that built this country."

In other words, Kirk Cameron made a Movie about how mean atheists and goat-people from the pit have banded together to distract America from the true meaning of the end part of December: What theologians refer to as Mother Mary’s Big Squirt.

Kirk Cameron hasn’t forgotten. Why have you!?!?!?

Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron’s New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back

Kirk Cameron tells women their role is to focus on the home, family & ‘joy’

Kirk Cameron has no time for your growing pains. The evangelical Christian actor, 44, recorded a new video on Tuesday, Nov. 11, preaching to mothers about their priorities.
Cameron shared the clip via Facebook and Twitter on Wednesday, writing, "Calling all moms, wives, and keepers of your home- I made this video for you, to remind you of how irreplaceable you are to your family this Christmas."
According to the video, the Growing Pains alum believes said role for women is to be in the home, caring for the family, and pushing aside any stress to be the "joy" for the household.

"If you are a mom, if you are a wife, if you’re the keeper of your home, I want you to know that your joy is so important this Christmas," Cameron preaches. "Because Christmas is about joy and if the joy of the Lord is your strength, remember, the joy of the mom is her children’s strength, so don’t let anything steal your joy."

"If you let your joy get stolen, it will sap your strength," he continued. "Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way that you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you ****, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep. Invite your whole neighborhood into your Christmas, and invite the world into our story of our king and his kingdom."

Read more: Kirk Cameron: Wives, Mothers Should Focus on Home, Joy of Family – Us Weekly
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Diana Douglas Dies: Actress, Mother of Michael Douglas and Ex-Wife of Kirk Douglas

Diana Douglas Dies: Actress, Mother of Michael Douglas and Ex-Wife of Kirk Douglas Was 92

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for AFI
Sad news—actress Diana Douglas, Mother of 70-year-old actor Michael Douglas, had died at age 92.
Her husband of 15 years, Donald Webster, told The Hollywood Reporter and Deadline on Saturday, the Fourth of July, that she recently passed away at the Motion Picture and Television Fund nursing home in Woodland Hills, California after battling cancer.
"She was a person much beloved by everyone," he told CNN. "One of her greatest qualities was that she was always thinking of the other person."
Diana was the first wife of Michael’s dad, actor Kirk Douglas, 98. The two met at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York, where they both studied acting. They divorced in 1951 after about eight years.
Diana also is survived by her and Kirk’s son, Joel Douglas, a 68-year-old producer, and grandchildren Cameron Douglas, 36, as well as Dylan Michael Douglas, 14, and Carys Zeta Douglas, Michael’s children with wife Catherine Zeta-Jones, 45.
PHOTO: Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones’ kids are all grown up: See the famous family’s red carpet appearance!
The actress was born Diana Dill in Bermuda in 1923. She began her big screen acting career in the ’40s and appeared with her family onscreen several times.
She and Kirk both starred in the 1955 western movie The Indian Fighter and the 2024 comedy It Runs in the Family, which also featured Michael and Cameron.
Douglas also starred with Michael on an episode of the ’70s series The Streets of San Francisco. Both also appeared in the 1983 movie The Star Chamber.
She played Martha Evans on the soap opera Days of Our Lives in the ’70s and ’80s and also appeared on shows such as Dynasty and The West Wing, as well as in John Hughes‘s hit 1987 comedy film Planes, Trains & Automobiles .

Source: Diana Douglas Dies: Actress, Mother of Michael Douglas and Ex-Wife of Kirk Douglas Was 92 | E! Online